Part 3 of a series on choosing a Jewish life
by Hadassah | The Chai Life
When I first stepped into a synagogue, I was convinced everyone could see right through me. “She’s not Jewish yet,” I imagined them whispering. “What’s she doing here?” Of course, no one actually said that—but the voice in my head was loud enough.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re “pretending” to be Jewish while on your conversion journey, you’re not alone. That feeling has a name: imposter syndrome in conversion—and it shows up often on this path.
Why Imposter Syndrome Hits So Hard
Conversion asks you to live Jewishly before you’re “officially” Jewish—beautiful, but vulnerable. You’re showing up, learning prayers, joining community events—often while feeling like you’re under a spotlight.
On top of that, Jewish identity is deeply tied to peoplehood. It’s not just “what you believe,” but being part of a family. So it can feel intimidating to step into that family while still being “in process.”
Here’s the truth: every single Jew—born or choosing—was once a beginner. Everyone had a first Shabbat, a first Hebrew word stumbled through, a first awkward moment in synagogue. You’re not behind; you’re simply on your way.
How to Quiet the “You Don’t Belong Here” Voice
- Remember your why: When doubts creep in, return to the reason you chose this path. Conversion isn’t about impressing anyone—it’s about aligning your life with your soul.
- Lean on your rabbi or mentor: Your sponsoring rabbi knows you’re not Jewish yet—and still invites you to practice. That in itself is permission to belong.
- Find welcoming spaces: Not every synagogue has the same culture. If one feels cold, try another. A community that greets you with warmth can make all the difference.
- Reframe mistakes as milestones: Getting lost in the siddur? Mispronouncing Hebrew? That’s not failure—that’s proof you’re learning while practicing Judaism before conversion.
- Pray anyway: God doesn’t require paperwork. Your sincerity matters more than your status, even when conversion anxiety creeps in.
What Helped Me Most
For me, the biggest shift came when I realized most people weren’t analyzing me—they were focused on their own prayers, their own lives. And when someone did notice I was new, more often than not, they were glad to help.
Instead of hearing, “You don’t belong,” I started hearing, “We’re glad you came.” And with time, that voice in my head got quieter.
You Belong on the Journey
Imposter syndrome in conversion doesn’t vanish overnight. But each time you light candles, each time you show up, each time you pray—you’re proving to yourself that you do belong.
Belonging isn’t granted on one single day—it’s built, step by step, through practice and presence. And one day, when you emerge from the mikvah, you’ll realize: you weren’t “faking it” all along. You were simply becoming Jewish.
Coming up next…
- My mikvah experience and day of conversion
- Resources that helped me along the way
Have you experienced imposter feelings on your conversion journey? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear from you.
Shalom,
Hadassah
The Chai Life 
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